What to say
I
haven't much felt like writing lately, not because I don't want to,
but because I feel I have little to say. I missed posting last week,
but given that it's the first week I haven't posted since
mid-November and we're in the middle of a pandemic and
political/civil turmoil just now, I'm not going to beat myself up.
I'm feeling contemplative and am staring down my future, trying to
figure out what it could be. I know what I want the immediate few
years to involve, and bringing that to fruition seems challenging to
say the least.
What I feel I'm tugging towards is establishing a small production company as an umbrella for the various things I'm working on. I've been listening to and learning loads from the fantastic careers podcast, Wanna Be, hosted by the equally fantastic Imriel Morgan. To my shame, I've known about this show for 3 years but had not listened until recently. Mind you, I reckon we often come to things - or things come to us - when we're ready for them, and I'm ready for this now in a way that I wasn't while I was ill after crashing out of academia. It is now time to learn from the far-ranging experiences showcased in each episode and to see if I can find my own path.
I'm also getting educated by listening to Reni Eddo-Lodge's About Race. Again, I had heard of her book Why I’m No Longer Talking to White People About Race during this same period (it was published in 2018), and although I could blame my ill-health and lack of gainful employment for not buying or reading it, I no doubt believed I didn't need to. While listening to podcasts is the bare minimum and won't in itself change the world, it's a start. And they keep me in good company while I continue to make masks.
I'm sure I'm not alone in feeling that the lockdown period is becoming formative in taking stock. I have friends who are posting about doing just that and using the opportunity to assess where they've been and how they might better progress forward when the time comes to re-emerge into the world. What I've had to confront is that the green activism I've been increasingly engaging in for the past couple of years feels futile and does not fulfil me. I had taken on roles that felt pointless because they were tied up in layers of bureaucracy and hierarchy that felt counter-intuitive to the objectives. The time to think and stop rushing around doing things because I feel I have to do them has granted me permission to admit that equality and social justice are closer to my heart, and if we address inequality and injustice from intersectional approaches, then lessening our impact on climate change will surely follow.
As for my working life, well, I was interested to hear the Wanna Be episode with Emilie Wapnick who describes herself as a 'multipotentialite', that is, someone who is good at lots of things and has no singular definitive calling. Something I've relearned about myself these past few years after the single-mindedness necessitated by trying to lay a career path in academia, is that I'm quite good at lots of things and am quick to pick up new skills and knowledge. People who meet me and get to know me are always perplexed at my difficulty in finding work, and it's not for want of trying. I struggle very much - always have - to get employers to take notice at application stage. For years I wasn't experienced enough and now I'm overqualified. I can't win. The dream, then, is to work for myself, and let's face it, I'm not great with authority anyway and will resist unfairness even when doing so is to my own detriment. No, the traditional work life is not for me. But how to survive independently and do something useful with this wee life, for all it is, is the next puzzle.
Slip me a fiver at https://www.buymeacoffee.com/peablair.
What I feel I'm tugging towards is establishing a small production company as an umbrella for the various things I'm working on. I've been listening to and learning loads from the fantastic careers podcast, Wanna Be, hosted by the equally fantastic Imriel Morgan. To my shame, I've known about this show for 3 years but had not listened until recently. Mind you, I reckon we often come to things - or things come to us - when we're ready for them, and I'm ready for this now in a way that I wasn't while I was ill after crashing out of academia. It is now time to learn from the far-ranging experiences showcased in each episode and to see if I can find my own path.
I'm also getting educated by listening to Reni Eddo-Lodge's About Race. Again, I had heard of her book Why I’m No Longer Talking to White People About Race during this same period (it was published in 2018), and although I could blame my ill-health and lack of gainful employment for not buying or reading it, I no doubt believed I didn't need to. While listening to podcasts is the bare minimum and won't in itself change the world, it's a start. And they keep me in good company while I continue to make masks.
I'm sure I'm not alone in feeling that the lockdown period is becoming formative in taking stock. I have friends who are posting about doing just that and using the opportunity to assess where they've been and how they might better progress forward when the time comes to re-emerge into the world. What I've had to confront is that the green activism I've been increasingly engaging in for the past couple of years feels futile and does not fulfil me. I had taken on roles that felt pointless because they were tied up in layers of bureaucracy and hierarchy that felt counter-intuitive to the objectives. The time to think and stop rushing around doing things because I feel I have to do them has granted me permission to admit that equality and social justice are closer to my heart, and if we address inequality and injustice from intersectional approaches, then lessening our impact on climate change will surely follow.
As for my working life, well, I was interested to hear the Wanna Be episode with Emilie Wapnick who describes herself as a 'multipotentialite', that is, someone who is good at lots of things and has no singular definitive calling. Something I've relearned about myself these past few years after the single-mindedness necessitated by trying to lay a career path in academia, is that I'm quite good at lots of things and am quick to pick up new skills and knowledge. People who meet me and get to know me are always perplexed at my difficulty in finding work, and it's not for want of trying. I struggle very much - always have - to get employers to take notice at application stage. For years I wasn't experienced enough and now I'm overqualified. I can't win. The dream, then, is to work for myself, and let's face it, I'm not great with authority anyway and will resist unfairness even when doing so is to my own detriment. No, the traditional work life is not for me. But how to survive independently and do something useful with this wee life, for all it is, is the next puzzle.
Slip me a fiver at https://www.buymeacoffee.com/peablair.
Comments
Post a Comment