Captain Disaster
I tend to put the seat down when I flush. Not just for the sake of hygiene, but because my alter-ego is Captain Disaster, breaker of houses and mortal enemy of the vortex of lost things. Oh, the things I’ve managed to drop into toilets. In June 2013 when I found myself in an accommodation pickle for the second time during my six months living in Aberdeen, my amazing friends Fran and Tom came to the rescue. They still refer to their spare room as ‘Paula’s room’, even to other guests. And how did I repay them? I accidentally remodelled their bathroom. That’s a bit over-dramatic, but I felt terrible about it. The plunger on top of the cistern was a bit loose, and of course – of course – it popped out and dived straight into the flushing water. Of course it did. It didn’t even knock the side of the bowl. I couldn’t have done that in a million years if I tried. I lost count of the times it hit the lid when the same thing happened before, but the one time I threw caution to th...